Annoying, are the people who can do everything so well. It’s like the Maths nerd who’s better than you at football, or your mum being able to hold her ale better than you can. It just doesn’t seem fair. Miranda July is one of these people. Miranda, a performance artist, decided to make a film; she wrote it, directed it, and co-starred in it, it cost about £500,000 to make (the woeful Stealth cost £80 Million) and went on to [...]

Let’s catch up. It’s 500 years in the future, Earth has become overcrowded and its natural resources exhausted. The only solution is to find new galaxies to populate. Our two superpowers; The United States of America and China have merged; forming The Alliance: the autocrats of the known universe. Unwilling to be controlled, a small rebellion is formed, leading to a Galactic Civil War. The rebellion is quickly crushed. When not running from self-mutilating cannibals named Reavers, Rebel leader Malcolm [...]

Midway through Jarhead, a newly initiated group of Marines question the legitimacy of the (first) Gulf War they are (almost) fighting, and Troy (Peter Sarsgaard) says: “Fuck politics, we’re here now, that’s all that matters”. The line sums up the film rather accurately; being in the position to ask some awfully topical questions, but instead opting to bury its head in the Iraqi sand. Jarhead, then, is a film about the frustration faced by soldiers in the Information Age, all [...]

In my brief career as a writer for The Cheese, I have yet to bestow the full five stars on any film or album I’ve reviewed. Surely I’m not going to give up my cherry for a sequel its director claimed would never happen to a decade-old incredibly low-budget black’n’white b-movie? As unlikely as it sounds, just as the original was a hard sell (two guys work dead-end jobs. Talk shit. Things go wrong. In black’n’white), once you see the [...]